How Memes Helped Reawaken My Creative Abilities
So I guess I kinda, “did a thing”, as they say. I had this stupid idea to start typing several words into sentence form, and allow strangers to read it. I don’t know what I was thinking, honestly. Now, I just can’t help but wonder “what took you so long?” I have rediscovered a talent that I truly forgotten I had. Or at least that’s what my moms been telling me. It’s helped me to understand what it is to tap into that, creative desire, that most of us have. But also what it means to put yourself out there, and be vulnerable to the judgment of others.
I’ve always had this mentality of “who cares what you think?”. I don’t really know why. I can’t remember a time that someone stifled my ideas or words. I have no reference to a time that I was ever told what I had to say or wanted to say, wasn’t important or worth listening to. I had come to the conclusion all my own that, “your opinion doesn’t matter. You’re no one. Sit down and shut up.” I had created my own worst enemy: myself. As I’ve gotten older I’ve realized that this was present in many other aspects of my life as well. Friendships, my prior athletic “career”, my actual career, relationships with family members, the list goes on. I was mentally impeding myself of my own progress. Both personally and creatively. And I don’t know why! As frustrating as it may be, I’ve made strides to change it. By doing small things to improve my perception of myself and my own valuation process.
The first thing I did was, as I’m sure you’ve read more times than you’ve blinked today, I said “F — - what everyone else thinks!”. I had to. Unfortunately, I have a very bad habit of being consumed by the idea that what others are doing is more important, or “better” or “smarter”. Never giving myself the benefit of the doubt. Just automatically assuming that whatever it was I was thinking, “wasn’t good enough”. The next step I took was stepping out of my comfort zone, and forcing myself to do things that I usually, wouldn’t do. Such as: post, in my opinion, obnoxious amounts of times to my various social media accounts. Putting myself, my pics, my face, my jokes and my opinions, out there for the world to see, daily. And by “world” I mean my 300+ friends/followers. I’m a nobody, I swear. But even still, this was tough for me to do. “I think this is funny, but no one else will.” or “I really think this is a valuable perspective on this particular social issue but no one is gonna wanna see my thoughts on it”. It paralyzed me. Stupid? Absolutely. But these are first-world problems here people. I’m just telling you what I was dealing with. So in the midst of my little “creative revolution” I said “F — that! I’ll say what I want!” I would share that article or post that meme and comment on that food video because damn it, why not?
This has taken place over the course of roughly two years and has brought me here, to Medium, today. What came of my “F — - it” attitude was the realization that people actually do think I’m funny. People actually do care what I have to say. Hell, they really seem to like the pictures of my kids too! Mind= Blown. When I finally put aside my own self-doubt, self-pity, and self-loathing was when I found my voice. It inspired me to not only “share” what I thought was funny or cool or exciting, but write it or show it, in my own words. In that process I also came to the conclusion that I’m half way decent at that too! What the shit, right? But it worked for me. Memes essentially saved my creative life. Kidding of course. I think my point is still coming across though, at least I hope.
From the outside I’ve been told I look intimidating, mean, stand-offish, unapproachable or bluntly like I’m a dick. For the most part, I am those things. I’m 6'2, 210lbs, no stranger to the iron, rock a slightly impressive beard, have a deep voice and fancy myself a cold beer and a steak over a cocktail and a salad any day. But on the inside I am riddled with insecurity, doubt, and inferiority complexes. Stepping out of my comfort zone and forcing myself to, for lack of a better term, stop being a p*ssy has gotten me to speak up for once. Not just look the part, but back it up with something meaningful to say. One of my favorite quotes, that I probably read on a Instagram fitness model selling slimming-tea is “A comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing ever grows there.” and it holds true, more often than not, thus far in my 30 years of life. Step out of your comfort zone. Find your voice. Don’t be more afraid of failure then you are of success. You only get so many trips around the sun, before that “voice” is silenced forever.
